tin-pan-ali asked:
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I’m so rude to anons, I’m sorry x.x
unclewhisky-deactivated20150726 answered:
Female breasts (commonly referred to in scientific literature as “boobies” or “boobs,” after 18th-century esoterical anatomist Karl-Johann “Boobie” von Beubenstein), are also very buoyant, as they begin filling with gaseous hydrogen when a girl begins her path to womanhood (usually shorty after killing her first mammoth, though there are unconfirmed reports of girls have begin expressing adult traits without every having seen a mammoth in their lives).
This hydrogen has many useful side effects, including making women much lighter than men, allowing them to wear high-heeled shoes. Boobs also make women very effective swimmers. In medieval times, if a crowd was uncertain if one of their neighbors was a woman, a common test was to throw the neighbor into a lake or other large body of water. If they drowned, then they were proven to be a man. If they floated, however, then it was confirmed that the person was, in fact, a woman. She was then customarily burned at the stake, because things were pretty strange in medieval times.
Boobular hydrogen, however, can undergo some very strange changes while residing inside of a woman’s boobs. Most common is the process of boobular fusion, under which the hydrogen in a woman’s boobs will fuse into helium. The common theatre phrase “baby, you’re a star” was coined when a popular female actress underwent boobular fusion on stage. The actress is reported to have replied “I AM BECOME THE NIGHT SKY. I AM YOUR NEW GODDESS. THROW YOURSELF UNTO ME, AND JOIN ME IN THE BLACK HEAVENS ABOVE.” Many in the audience tripped on their way toward their new Star Boob Goddess, causing a rash of greenstick fractures in the long bones. hence another common theatre phrase, “break a leg,” meaning “impress the audience, and then devour them in nuclear fire.”
The production of boobular hydrogen has also been known to increase rapidly and without warning, occasionally lifting women off the ground entirely, as they become truly lighter than air. Such women will never see their homes, friends, or families again, but they make truly excellent airborne delivery girls, and so rarely complain, as they now have a lucrative career with either FedEx or UPS (the United States Postal Service having decommissioned their Airborne Delivery Girl Service in 1998, due to budget constraints and safety concerns).
I hope these facts have helped answer your question! As we can all now see, boobs are a fascinating, but complex and at times dangerous, part of all of our bodies!
Except for men, how not only do not produce boobular hydrogen, but in fact do not have boobs at all, but a single, flat, pancake-like growth over their pectoral muscles, which frankly we’re a bit self-conscious about and we’d rather not discuss right now, thank you.
Gaming News of the Day: Play Minecraft Creator Notch’s New Typing Game
Over the weekend, Minecraft creator Markus “Notch” Persson released his latest browser-based game Drop. Inspired by Terry Cavanaugh’s 2012 game Super Hexagon and his apartment ceiling, Notch created the typing game in lieu of a submission to the rapid game creation competition Ludum Dare. Hat tip goes toBoingBoing!
A better, more positive Tumblr
Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.
Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).
Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.
So what is changing?
Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.
Why are we doing this?
It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.
Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.
So what’s next?
Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.
Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.
Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.
Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.
Jeff D’Onofrio
CEO
Bye
I feel so worthless lately
hey guys i made video
Man I liked setheverman before it was cool and I still like him now because other people liking him doesn’t detract from that at all
Three stages of life:
1. Birth
2. W H A T T H E F U C K I S T H I S
3. Death
Welp it’s been about 3 years now and I still can’t figure out a career that makes me happy. I’m an anxious mess today and I don’t know how to fix it.
